How to Deal With Friends and Relatives
This article may seem awful close to the previous post I did titled, “How to Deal With Difficult People.” Actually this is a post I feel I should write due to some experiences I have had over the past couple of days. Most people I know have friends or relatives that just seem to be going nowhere. Either they are not motivated or they feel that their purpose on this earth is meaningless. Little do they know that this is not the truth. Everyone and, I repeat everyone has a purpose on this world. Man was created for success and achievement, not to sit around and feel sorry for themselves.
Earlier this week Adam, Jim (A friend of ours) and I sat down and spoke with my mother. Since she was a younger girl her father degraded her and put her down. Everything from being fat to stupid was repeated to her several times while she was a child. As you can see this can be terrible for a young girl. Self esteem and confidence go right out the window. She feels that everything she does is wrong and there is no hope for her. Wrong again!
We all talked to her and gave her some advice on what she needed to do in order to get out of this mental slum. My mother including myself all have limitations. These limitations however are completely and honestly IN OUR HEADS. Maybe you have something you are afraid to try. Or maybe a relative started a business back in the day and because of their failure you are afraid the same thing will happen to you. Either way these F.E.A.R.’s are thoughts and HABITS that are in your head. No more, no less.
Below I have a few tips that the three of us gave to my mother in order to boost her confidence and get her on the right track. If you have a family member that is having trouble or if you feel that these might apply to you, feel free to use them, they work!
Note: What I have learned over the last couple years is that you cannot help everyone. Sometimes I even have to turn my own mother down when she needs help. People that always feel sorry for themselves and need attention will always come to the person they feel will give in the easiest. If they feel that they can ALWAYS ask you for money and you would never say No, guess what? YOU will get a phone call. If you start to notice this needy behavior without an improvement, stay away. Believe it or not you are hurting them more than helping them if you give them everything they want. So if you are someone dealing with a needy person and the problem persists, back away. Or if you are that needy person and you want some help, read on.
Step 1 – Your Social Group
There has been study after study of people and their social groups. I know you have heard the phrase “Birds of a Feather Flock Together?” Anyway, here is an example of what I mean. Say you are someone dealing with a drug problem and one day you finally realize you need help. You call a relative a thousand miles away and ask if you could come and stay with them for a few months while you get clean. A couple months go by and you are now sober and free from drugs. You decide to go home. Do you know that nine times out of ten if you go back to associating with your previous reference group (drug dealers, friends who do drugs, etc.) you will go back to your old habits? That is what we told my mother. If you want to be a millionaire then speak with someone that had done it. Simply put, you have to change who you associate with. Doing this will sky rocket your success to better habits.
Step 2 – Learn
Everything that is worth doing requires more knowledge. You have to indulge yourself in audio tapes and CD’s that preach success and wealth building habits. I have several books and tapes that teach these things. My collection of knowledge is probably my most prized possession. Buy book, meet people, and have fun with it. There are even several groups out there that you can join for what ever your interests might be. As a habit I read and or listen to something educational at least for an hour or two a day. This motivates me in the morning and push’s me into doing the best I can do.
Remember: Learning takes time. Do not think that something you read will have it’s effects right away. You have to apply and use it. If you do this you will be on your way.
Finally
Step 3 – Love Yourself
I have saved the best for last. If you do not love yourself first you will never progress. You have to realize that who you are is special and that hating what you look like and how your hair is styled is irrelevant to your success. You are a unique individual and realizing that alone will put you ahead of the crowd. Look at it this way. Zig Zigglar, a world renowned speaker and teacher says it best. You are worth millions and millions and possibly billions of dollars. Here is why he says that. Do you know that insurance companies have given people millions of dollars for loosing an eye while on the job? Do you know that some have been granted hundreds of millions of dollars for a leg, or an arm? Putting this in context shows that people have been awarded crazy amounts of money for their body parts. In essence what Zig says is true; you ARE worth millions and millions and possibly billions of dollars.
So apply these several tips in your own life or teach them to others. Either way they are true and will be until the end of time. So please, if you are having friend or family problems take these into consideration and see what you come up with. I guarantee that the results will amaze you!
